How Much Does a Marriage Intensive Cost? Real Numbers, Including Mine

Nobody puts the price on the page. You click through five sites, read about "transformational weekends" and "safe containers," and still have no idea whether you are looking at $800 or $8,000. So here are the numbers, including mine, and what you actually get for each.

The going rates

I pulled these from the programs that show up when you search "marriage intensive" today. They change, so treat them as a range, not a quote.

• Destination weekend intensives with a therapy team: roughly $4,000 to $7,500 for two to four days, plus travel and a hotel. These are the Christian ministry programs and the retreat centers. Group format for some of it, private for some of it.
• Private therapist intensives, one to three days: roughly $2,500 to $5,000. Usually 12 to 20 hours with a licensed therapist, sometimes at their office, sometimes at a rented house.
• Weekly couples therapy in Los Angeles: $150 to $300 a session. Sounds cheaper. Fifty sessions later it is $7,500 to $15,000, and a lot of couples are still going.
• Mine, in Santa Monica or online: $500 for a half day (The Jumpstart), $1,000 for two half days two weeks apart (The Reset), $1,200 for six sessions in two weeks (Stop the Bleeding). The 90 day program after that is $3,000, and the two week fee is credited toward it.

Why the prices are so different

Three things drive the number, and none of them is how good the person is.

1. Credentials. A licensed therapist charges therapist rates because the license costs years and the insurance costs a fortune. Coaching is not therapy, and I say that plainly on every page. If you need a diagnosis or you are in crisis, pay for the license. If you need to stop having the same fight, you are paying for something else.
2. Setting. The retreat programs are selling the ocean view and the catered meals along with the work. Some couples need to leave the house to do this. Most couples I see need to do it in the house, because the house is where the fight lives.
3. Length. A three day program has to fill three days. Some of that is deep work. Some of it is the schedule. A half day is three hours of the actual thing, because that is what fits.

How to think about the cost

Here is the math I did when my own marriage was on the floor. Not "what does this cost," but "what does the other road cost." We had spent, by then, somewhere north of $10,000 on weekly therapy over four years. Divorce, if it had gone that way, would have been the house.

Against that, a $500 afternoon is not an expense. It is the cheapest test you will ever run on the most expensive thing you own.

The question I would actually ask any program, mine included, is not the price. It is: what do we walk out with? If the answer is "a deeper understanding of your dynamics," keep shopping. If the answer is "three tools you practiced in the room and a written plan with commitments from each of you," that is a number you can evaluate.

What you get for each of my three

• $500, The Jumpstart. Three hours, one afternoon. The Bullseye check in, the REUNITE method, the language for asking without blame. You leave with all three practiced, not explained.
• $1,000, The Reset. Two half days, two weeks apart. Daily practices and text access to me in the gap. A written repair roadmap after each half day.
• $1,200, Stop the Bleeding. Six sessions in two weeks for couples in active pain. Homework between sessions, direct access, and full credit toward the 90 day program if you continue.

No package pricing games, no "call for a quote." If you are choosing between them, the comparison page lays them side by side, and the free 15 minute call is exactly that, free and fifteen minutes.

To the men reading this who are doing the math on the drive home: I did that math too. Do the $500 version of the math first.

As always, I am just a man on a mission, rising from the ashes of the marriage I almost destroyed and sharing what worked. Get curious.