About Me

One does not get into relationship coaching because their relationship was a Disney romance. I have wholly and fully loved my wife for over 35 years, since I was 16 years old! She is the one I choose each and every day regardless of the ups and downs of our marriage.

Twenty something years into our relationship the love of my life shared that she felt alone, unloved, unchosen, and unseen.

I had fallen in to the trap that so many do, focusing on our careers, the kid, the dream life we were building, and I had failed her and the relationship. The saddest part was I didn’t even know where to start! I was following the blueprint I thought was the way to have a family and yet, it was broken. I was also hyper focused on helping her achieve her dreams and was often too exhausted at the end of the day to provide what she was really missing, and worse, I had no idea what that was! As it turns out, I like a lot of men, are physical intimacy focused and was completely neglecting the emotional intimacy of the relationship. To be completely honest, I had no idea what that even meant. All I knew is I was exhausting myself trying to be closer to her and nothing I did worked. I could say I’m a man and we just don’t learn those things but that would be too broad and dismissive. I am a man, I did not learn the lessons growing up about how to nurture emotional intimacy in a relationship, AND I own that it was one of my greatest shortcomings. Simply put, I didn’t know how to grow and had no idea what to do differently to have the relationship I wanted with my wife. With this realization I devoted myself learning how to be the best man, husband, and father I could.

In the process of this I found “mens work” which has helped me understand how to live my life with more intentionality and purpose and has driven me to share the lessons I wished I had learned 30 years ago with my clients. My goal is to help both partners understand that being great together means both doing the inner work as well as the relationship work.

I found my purpose in helping others grow, individually and in their relationships

Today I share the lessons I learn, the tools that have helped me grow, and the frameworks that I have come to believe are the best of the best when it comes to healing relationships and helping couples find the connection and intimacy they desire.

Along with being certified by the FRCA to be a relationship coach I have spent the last 30 years of my life building businesses, consulting on major security projects, and more closely related to coaching, spent 14 years teaching yoga as a way to feed my desire to help effect positive change in others lives.

What do I believe?

I believe that relationships take time, effort, and energy that most of us never learned how to do properly.

I believe that love is a choice, being “in love” requires choosing to love, even when its hard.

I also believe that all relationships go thru the four seasons as Gary Chapman describes in his book and that winter does not mean the relationship is over, it is the opportunity to build something deeper.

And I believe that there is no such thing as “the one”, that when two people choose to love each other and do the work, great love is built and relationships flourish.