Conflict Resolution · Mini Reunite Tool
Resolve Conflict Before It Turns Into Resentment
Unresolved conflict doesn’t just “go away” — it settles in as resentment. This simple, structured tool helps you slow things down, understand each other, and repair before the damage sticks.
This mini-tool comes from the work of Dr. Wyatt Fisher and is one of my favorite frameworks for navigating conflict in real time. I use it with couples to build empathy, understanding, and connection — especially when emotions run high.
Why Conflict Isn’t a Sign You’re Failing
There’s no such thing as a perfect couple. You’re two different people with different histories, nervous systems, and needs — so conflict is inevitable. What matters is how you handle it.
Most of us were never taught healthy conflict skills. We learn to avoid, explode, withdraw, defend, or try to “win” the argument. Over time, that pattern erodes safety and turns everyday friction into long-term resentment.
The goal of this tool is simple: instead of proving who’s right, you learn to understand each other’s experience so you can get back on the same team.
“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
— Stephen R. Covey
The 6-Step Mini Reunite Tool
You’ll go through all six steps once with Partner A sharing and Partner B listening — then you’ll switch roles. Go slowly. This isn’t about winning; it’s about connecting.
Describe Your Experience of the Conflict
Partner A shares what happened using “I feel” and “I need” language — not accusations.
Example: “When I reached out and you didn’t respond, I felt unimportant and disconnected.”
Reflect Back What You Heard
Partner B summarizes what they heard — to show the message landed.
Example: “You felt ignored and unimportant when I didn’t respond. Did I get that right?”
Own Your Part in the Conflict
Partner B acknowledges their part without defensiveness or justification.
Example: “I stayed on my phone instead of giving you attention. I could have handled that better.”
Offer Empathy
Partner B offers empathy for how their actions felt to Partner A.
Example: “That must have felt painful — like my phone mattered more than you.”
Offer a Real Apology
The apology addresses the impact — not intention.
Example: “I’m so sorry that my lack of response made you feel unimportant. That wasn’t my intention.”
Make Amends and Suggest a Path Forward
Partner B shares what they’ll do differently in the future.
Example: “Next time, I’ll put my phone down or ask for a moment and then come back to you.”
Want help mastering conflict resolution?
If you want to improve communication, repair faster, and feel closer — I’d love to help you.
Book a Free 15-Minute Intro Call